Fierce New Year.

I'm tremendously proud of myself today. Incredibly proud. The reasons I'm about to list might seem ridiculous to a few of you. And that's okay. This is my journey. And for me, for my journey, none of what I'm about to list is inconsequential. Which is why I felt it deserved an entry.

I told myself I would be more fierce this year. I guess you can read that as "less afraid". But it doesn't stop there. It's a way of being that I've felt was living deep down within me but not surfacing enough to serve me. So here is why I'm proud today.

1. I'm on my way to meet with a person high up in the opera chain who has taken notice of me.  I'm taking a leap of faith that, despite it being late in the game, and my having zero resume to speak of, this person might be able to aid me in making a break through. Not expecting it to happen today... But also perhaps not too long from today.

2. It's snowing. Normally I'd balk at driving in the snow or going into the city in the snow for fear of getting stuck. But today's meeting was too important. When I spoke to my (very fearful) mother this morning she said, "It is nasty out... Are you still going? Oh, poor baby."  My husband, who also coddles me a little (he is sweet) said I should maybe leave the car and cab it to the train. If it were heavier snow, I might have done that. But I decided I've been coddled (and coddled myself) enough. I know people care for me but it's finally dawned on me that I'm surrounded by people whose anxieties only highlight and heighten my own. They mean well. But it's time to start letting myself disagree with them. "No... I can do this. No reason to cancel or reschedule or cry or panic."

3. I can do this. My new battle cry.

I'm looking forward to posting my future adventures in fierce living. Today... Baby steps.