I can do that too

When do I start caring
That your greed knows no bounds?
I transmute it into my own greed
Which I keep secret
So I seem satisfied with
            that thimble you call sustenance
Growing your ego, I know
This is an impertinence I leave for you
While I fold my knees
Demurely smiling

Disappointed

I will outgrow
Outlive
Outrun
This sadness
This loss of sweetness
Which you offered and rescinded
Offered then regretted
Quietly suffering your loves
Such man woes
Too many kisses
Too many breasts to lay your head upon
So many welcoming arms
And mouths
The one you pined for
The one you ran from the second you'd had your fill
(Who got the best part of that deal?)
Tu tienes la cara dura
De ahora decir que
Era demasiado
It was too much?
You had no right to be the one who calls the shots.
You had no right to decide when enough is enough.
You had the sweet side of this deal.
My rage is well merited, you sorry man.
I loved you even in your pathetic weakness
Your constant reminders that I was last on your list.
I swallowed that bitter pill whole.
And still... It was too much?
You retreated into your safe nest
Taking your love with you...
Leaving me raw
Leaving me lost
Empty
Fragile
Unchosen
Missing you
Despite your unworthiness

Three Ways to Love You

Three Ways to Love You

I.

I will eat away your guilt

I will swallow all your lies

I will fortify your house of cards

I will help you justify

Help you live inside this madness

Help you swim aside these sharks

I will love you

I will love you

I will love you 

                in the dark

II.

I will lick the poison from your brow

Swallow it back with relish from your eyes

Crack my melon head ripe open

For your tongue to flick the dark seeded

Carcinomas of fractured logic and rotting thought

In a frenzied dance of mangled limbs

We will bleach each other

Shiny and new

III.

We will lie exhausted on the burning sand

Awash of our guilt

Unwilling to stand

Wearing cagey prison smiles

Knees to Knees 

Eyes to Eyes

Heart to Heart

A newly born Siamese star

Some galaxy beyond

A sentient year behind us

Fragile this fleshy bond, yet

I have loved you

I have loved you

I have loved you

                    from the start

Pegged

Man servant boy

Your wife is mean
It's why you're so lean
You "deserved" her betrayal
And with your approval
You sanctioned her deception.
Now you're paying to keep her.
You're her life's perfection.

Oh boy,
You make me sad.

Your wife has you pegged
I mean, in every way.
Bend over and take it
Lazy selfish whiny bitch
The wincing is a turn on
The sting is such a burn on
Her pleasure is your pain

Your wife knows to be sweet
The carrot, not only the stick
You melt on cue
You pay your due
Manipulation 101
You are her favorite toy
Wash, rinse, repeat

You're sad to me,
Oh boy
You're dead to me,
Enjoy

Ocean Cleanse

There's misery at the bottom of the ocean
There's misery at the bottom of the sea
Yet each time I feel my sadness
I dive down underneath
Each time I seek to mitigate this loneliness
Each time I seek that soothing company
All I find whenever I go swimming
Is salt and water my lungs can't breathe
Yet I plunge myself into the choppy waters
I fling my body off rocks and floating debris
Directly into the currents
That threaten to disappear me
There's comfort in breathing the water
Find peace gagging on the seaweed
I welcome the watery depths
That will cleanse me of your memory.

Love Hobos (the Real)

My dirty dirty heart
Keeps watch under the bridge
Waiting for things that don't belong to us, but,
Feeling entitled anyhow.
Because you bring the things.
You smuggle them
right to my feet
to my hands
to my heart
to my mouth
all the things I shouldn't take
the things you shouldn't give.
We, greedy, life-is-short and
sweetness is here.
Now.
We, thieves in passion.
We,
(there is a we). We,
who have snatched a place to put our things
here, under the bridge.

In my travels
With my dirty dirty feet
Shredded nails
Aching arms
Head like a Jack-o-Lantern,
     bruised piñata for a heart.
You walked beside me
taking me in with your eyes
blinded by the sun in my hair, and...
(I saw it before you did)
Silently you pledged to bring me things I needed:
The bits of you that were rattling around in the hollows of your eyes
In return for the pieces of me that were bleeding out into the sand.
Your touch would stop the bleeding
My eyes would see through the places others missed.
Thus, in our unspoken contract
You bring me morsels, which we both devour
To sustain us
Greedily, without remorse.

We, the love hobos,
Surviving on each other
Will breathe for one another
Unapologetically
Between heart beats.

Te me estás saliendo

Te quise
Pero ya no puedo
Estoy como la que ha comido mucho helado
Me duele el estómago
Quien me manda?
Se me hiela la cabeza
Tengo náuseas

Te quise
con dos manos llenas
Pero de qué?
Primero de pétalos
Después pollitos suaves
Entonces aves blancas
Luego arañas
Serpientes
Venenosas
Hormigas picantes
Clavos sangrientes
Aceite hirviendo
No me quedan más que los huesos con que quererte
Y esos no sienten ya.

Te quise
Pero me heriste y
Ni cuenta te diste
Cómo mala fruta
Que empalaga
Cuanto buena sabía
Ahora se me está saliendo
No vuelvo a probar.