This past year, I've read many of the articles written on the subject of rape culture and violence against women which have been appearing in nearly all news publications around the globe. I just read one in the Huffington Post about the institution of "women only" taxis to make women feel "safer". They are modeling this after women only buses in India and special female only train cars in Japan. I find this to be a dangerous trend and a step backward. While it may be a temporary stop gap and a comfort to some, it continues to send the signal that men have the power to crush us and we must hide safely away from them. What message are we sending young girls?
The problems we face come from a male global sense of sexual entitlement (and entitlement to power) while women, by and large, continue to feel a sense of lacking power and a sense of fear. We have been conditioned to not only fear the power of the men around us but, worse still, to fear our own power. Women are taught it is "unfeminine" to be powerful or to desire anything approximating power. Including and, in many cases, especially, sexual power.
Another solution to the constant groping in the trains in Japan and the rampant rape in India could easily have been to hand out pepper spray to women and girls who use these means of transportation. Wouldn't men begin to simmer down if "Mr. Yamadori" showed up to his morning meeting weeping and red faced because a woman on the train sprayed him? But no... the very people in charge don't want this kind of a solution. It would "upset the social order". By which they mean, men would be called out for their behavior on a fairly regular basis and instead of a headline reading "Girl Gets Publicly Molested on Train" we might see "VP of Corporation X is Pepper Sprayed on his Way to Work." That just won't do. They must "save face". And who are the people most vested in saving face? The people in charge - most of whom are men.
We cannot begin to level the playing field by hiding away. Women cannot shy away and cower if we're ever going to be treated as powerful beings with rights to our bodies and our thoughts. Men have done one thing throughout history that we women can stand to learn from. They have always banded together. They don't call it the " Good Ole Boy" network for nothing. Women need to stop cutting each other down and borrow this page from the men. We need to form more of our own networks. Sororities have to stop being about silly parties and make up and who has the nicest Prada bag. They need to be about banding together to help support each other up the ladder. Inductions should probably include lessons in ball kicking and how to fight dirty when necessary.
Yes, it's true that in our world, if a woman is pretty and has a nice figure, she will get more attention and it may even help her get higher up the ladder than if she doesn't have these attributes. But this should not be the thing that girls are taught to focus all their attention on. We need to keep our nails sharp and our bodies strong. But also learn to use our softer qualities to our advantage. We can focus our compassion to avoid getting lost in the power struggles that lead to selfish feelings of entitlement so we don't get caught in the trap men find themselves in too often. But we have a long way to go before that is a worldwide problem for us. Right now I think we need to focus on banding together from a place of strength, not fear.
