This morning on the Today Show there was a segment on finances. Three "experts" were brought in - two women and a man. The man was a white, middle aged man, average to slightly overweight build, not tall. Kind of plain looking. About what you expect from a numbers cruncher. The women were a brainy but good looking brunette and a knock out light brown haired, energized, gorgeous girl who the middle aged guy was obviously smitten with. As I watched the women trying to tow the line between being gorgeous and being knowledgeable, I just got angrier. It's become nearly impossible to just be good at what you do or knowledgeable or talented. More and more, the media now expects women (and in many cases, men too) to be good looking plus (often above) being talented or intelligent. While this is a lovely ideal and I realize it's a media "package", it sends such awful messages to, not just the youth that might be watching, but to adults too.
Out there right now in the unemployment market are a vast majority of very intelligent and skilled people who are falling prey to this kind of thinking. They are being passed up for their bubblier, better looking competition, even if their resumes might be weaker and/or equal and/or padded. We are becoming more and more superficial as a society.
When I see old footage of movies, news coverage, commercials, etc... I see that we were much more open to less-than-perfect looks on our TV. Howard Cossell looked like an overgrown elf. Now we have Erin Andrews and Anderson Cooper. Barbara Walters, with her funny speech impediment would not get on the air now at all. She would never be given the chance to develop her style of interviewing. Women, in particular, continue to bear the brunt of this. Minorities also. The media ideal continues to be the pretty blond cheerleader turned... whatever they want to make her. Of course you have your Ann Curry and Connie Chung. And Oprah made billions because she's black, heavy set and nice looking enough but not a beauty. And people desperately wanted to be able to identify with someone who wasn't intimidating and would accept them and their stories regardless of where on Earth they came from. But even with this evidence, we haven't really learned.
I hear my nieces and nephews talking. They range ages 2 through 22. Barring the 2 year old, I see and hear them spending a lot more time developing their looks (gym and clothes) rather than developing new skills. In particular, I hear things like, "I'd rather be dead than fat." I actually overheard two of my nieces, each coming from a widely different population, say these exact words. Since I'm fat myself, I can't say I did not feel a bit of a personal sting. But in both cases, they did not know I was nearby so I am sure it is how they really feel. I almost would feel better if they were trying to zing me. Because despite the messages that fat = dead, many a fat person has had a rich and varied and satisfying and healthy life. Need we go back to Oprah for this? (Yes, she lost weight but for how long?) And not just people who are/were fat. But... Awkward = Michael Jackson. Weird = Every successful comedian. Short = Verne Troyer (mini Me). These are examples of people who took what might have been negatives and maximized them. But despite their success, more and more we are obsessed with looks.
I wish there were a "beautiful inside" campaign. I suspect that if we saturated kids with a new message; a message that their inner beauty and inner health, physically, spiritually and mentally, were of paramount importance, then things like outer beauty and weight would normalize. Our social rainbow would come to include richer and more vibrant hues. We might even create a more tolerant and united society. But I should watch it before I get labelled a "hippie." There are worse things - like a generation of people who are so self-absorbed that the future of America is at risk of becoming completely soulless and superficial.
