What Alice Forgot

Today at Barnes and Noble I stole five pages from a book while sipping my Starbuck’s mocha latte Tall with cinnamon. It was a delightful pleasure to luxuriate within those pages. Like a bubble bath of words. I learned a new word – squidginess. I also learned that the word ‘besotted’ could be one of the most romantic words in the English language when used adoringly by the right person. When I was done with my mocha latte I realized I had a decision to make. Come back another time and steal more pages or give up my life of thievery and purchase the book. I chose to purchase it. Because after only five pages I could not stand the idea of not knowing what would happen to Alice and her unborn child. Indeed, I needed to know what had already happened to them and why someone had needed to dial 000. So I stood on line and paid full hardcover money to finish reading “What Alice Forgot” because Mr. Moriarty, clever writer that he apparently is, was capable of drawing me in so fully over a cup of coffee that I couldn’t imagine leaving the store without his novel. Barnes and Noble is also rather clever for allowing us to sit and peruse their books as if it were a library. Invariably, some of us do succumb to the mysteries on the pages and pay the price of admission.

Letter to America (Or "Why you need to get over the Weiner")

Dear America,

I was just reading about the Weiner “scandal” and after I was done rolling my eyes and smacking my lips like I learned from the black girls in Brooklyn where I grew up, I decided to write you a letter. Because I think your priorities are completely up your a$$ and it’s time someone spoke up about it. Why not me?

America, you were founded on good, Puritan family values. What that boils down to most of the time is a fear of all things sexual and a moral compass whose point resembles the dreaded snake from the Garden of Eden. Yes… I said that. I tell you why. Because I can’t count how many times famous evangelists and politicians have been caught with their pants down. I can’t recount the number of inappropriate things men in both high and low positions have said to me, personally, over the years and stories I’ve heard from other. America, grow the fu*% up!!! This is human nature. So long as it’s between two consenting adults, why are you getting yourself all in huff about it?! Does it change whether or not that person is getting their job done? Are the schools better because of him/her? Are the roads being fixed? If so, stop worrying about whether or not they’re sending people pictures of their penises or putting cigars inside interns. That’s for their wives to deal with.

At this point, America, I know the look you have on your face. It’s all screwed up to one side and you are reaching for some holy water to douse me with. But really… you know what I’m saying is right. You just can’t let go of your twisted morality. The very same morality that goes right out the window when it comes close to home. Then you have excuses – lots of them. And rationalizations. Because it’s YOU now. Puh-lease. Now you’re going to argue that this behavior is indicative of a deceitful nature and THAT’S why it’s alarming. Oh yeah… I forgot – America, you think politicians and evangelists should be truthful and upfront and if they’re not they should get out. If that were actually the reality of the situation, our Congress, Senate, and houses of worship would be pretty devoid of any leadership. Get over it, America! That argument doesn’t hold water. Count the number of lies, large and small, you tell in one month just to keep the peace in your households. Now imagine having to make several thousand people who count on you all happy. It’s impossible. Lies will be told. So stop it already! Stop thinking like these are colonial times. You’ve grown up so much. Can’t you be a little more mature about this too? Focus on the things that really matter. We aren’t hiring our leaders for what they do or don’t do in their bedrooms. That should be the least of our concerns.

Sincerely,

A 21^st Century Woman